I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
