I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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