i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
it was like eating out sand paper
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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