Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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