plz talk dirty to me
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
