Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
You dont lie about slip and slides
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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