You just made me feel so damn special
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I deserve this hangover.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
