my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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