Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
