My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
