their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
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Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
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Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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