when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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