come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
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