Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
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So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
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we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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