Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
