Joe is yelling at the trees again.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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