it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
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She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
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