It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
