Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
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