so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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