Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
That accounts for only three of the penises
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
