Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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