1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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