She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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