Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
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