found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Randomize
