Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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