Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.

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(563): View more from Iowa

i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.

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(205): View more from Alabama

I only kidnapped one of them. chill

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(240): View more from Maryland

9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook

(301): View more from Maryland

it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.

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(530): View more from California

My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.

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(208): View more from Idaho

Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday

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(647): View more from Ontario

Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.

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