What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Randomize
