I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize