I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
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