I'm pants shitting drunk right now
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Randomize
