i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Two words: blizzard sex
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