high people should be assigned attendants
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
