It's Friday. Sex?
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
