Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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