She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
