New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
