So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
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Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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