well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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