haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
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