Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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