Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
