Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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