omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
