First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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