we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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