So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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