Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
