I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Two words: blizzard sex
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Randomize