I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
