Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
