It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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