my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
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