I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Randomize
