why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
