I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
