just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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