I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
