If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
