hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Randomize
