if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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