Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
