Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
