East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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